Failure and Grace

For me, this has been an unusually distracted and agitated Advent. Of course the culture we are all swimming in gets frenetic, but my experience in past years was that it always seemed possible to find places and times of genuine stillness and quiet. There were pockets of peace.

This year, at least so far, that has not been true for me. I don't have much distance on it yet to reflect on it all in depth, but it seems to me that the culprits are both external and internal.

On the outside, it seems to me things are more agitated and uncertain. Whether its global issues like Europe and a particularly dysfunctional body politic, or local issues like schedules and sports, it just seems to me that we are all registering another level of disquiet. It seems to me that many of the people closest to me and who I serve at St. Paul's are feeling a little more disoriented than usual.

Internally, I seem to be doing more of the things that don't really help and less of the things that really do. My consumption of sugar and alcohol and my time spent shopping is up while time for exercise, prayer and simply being with friends and family is down. My life has temporarily lost some of its steadiness and center.

What am I to do?

Well, repent and return to the Lord. Martin Luther believed that we were brought close to Jesus only by grace and faith. This did not mean that we shouldn't try to do things that we believe will open us up to the workings of grace. By all means let us pray, worship, serve the poor and humbly love our neighbors. Let us furthermore try to resist at least some of the animal desires that emerge from us. But also, let us realize that we are really very weak, beset on every side by forces larger than ourselves. We will lose, we will fall and when we do, let us not deny it, but rather ask for help.

The theme of Advent is yearning for God as though we are yearning for a deliverer, for a rescuer. We are weak. I am weak. Come, Lord Jesus, come and rescue me. I need you.